Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, The
Warning: Minor spoilers.

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I'll make this short. The movie is about Alex O'Connell (Luke Ford), son of Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser) and Evelyn (Maria Bello), who unearths the tomb of Emperor Han (Jet Li). The mummy comes to life and wrecks havoc whilst trying to become immortal and rule the world. He has superpowers and, later, can shape-shift. They also meet guardian Lin (Isabella Leong) and bring back Evelyn's brother, Jonathan (John Hannah).

Good notes about the movie:

- Isabella Leong was hot.

- Brendan Fraser was his usual funny self (sort of).

- John Hannah's character was entertaining as usual.

- The action was somewhat entertaining.

- Oh, and Isabella Leong was hot.


Bad notes about the movie:

- The CGI was terrible. Seriously, it was awful.

- Luke Ford can't act.

- The relationship between Alex and Lin seemed forced.

- Maria Bello is no Rachel Weisz.

- Brendan Fraser and Maria Bello had no chemistry.

- The CGI really was terrible.

- The Yetis were just silly.

- Why did they absolutely need the O'Connell's to be the ones to raise the mummy again?

- How come the Chinese army dude can't read Chinese?

- Have I mentioned the terrible CGI?

- The martial arts was lame, brief, and underwhelming.

- Sorry to say, even Brendan Fraser's witty charisma was lacking. He had his moments, but they weren't as good as they should have been.

- It was too silly, in general. At least the first two Mummy movies (moreso the first) had a darkness or grittiness to them. This one was just childish and, again, silly.

- The last line (the written sentence on the screen) of the movie was almost intelligence-insulting. I'm pretty sure the audience could have gathered the joke without it... but maybe I'm just giving too much credit to the mass population.

- I'm not even going to bother bringing up the bad CGI again. Oh wait, I just did.

Let me put it this way... not to long ago, I was at the theater and there was a woman sitting in front of me with two kids and a cell phone. She drove me up the wall and ruined the experience. That SAME woman with the same two kids and stupid cell phone was there again, sitting, yet again, a bit in front of me... doing the same things as last time. But this time, I didn't really care as much. It had some good moments, but the movie, as a whole, was just pretty bad. And to top it all off, my showing didn't include the teaser trailer for Half-Blood Prince, which pissed me off. That was supposed to be my redeeming factor of seeing this movie... and it wasn't even there! Gah. Well... at least Isabella Leong was hot.

Reviewed by: Nick
23 Comment(s)
I'd say that this disappoints me but if I'm being honest, you pretty much summed up what the previews looked like as well. When I heard they were making another movie I had my doubts but then they told me it was going to have Jet Li as the mummy and I was so excited! Then came the previews. Compared to the first and, yes, even the second movie, this one just looked ... lame. As much as I love Jet Li and enjoyed Fraser in the previous Mummy films, I'll give this a pass. Thanks for saving me a pocket full of dough, Nick. Much appreciated.
Shea said...
I liked the first one. (grant it I haven't seen it since 8th grade), the second one sucked bad, and I have no interest in the 3rd one.
Tanner said...
Remember when Rob Cohen had potential? Well, actually remember when Rob Cohen made Fast and the Furious?
Adam said...
We should watch the first Mummy again - b/c i remember it being moderately decent, minus the terrible mummy effects. I would've preferred if it was just some dude wrapped in toliet paper.

Yeah, no interesting in seeing this - the mysterious recasting of Weiz for Maria Bello, not to mention the son has aged like, what, 12 years, and yet everyone else is the same age? Geez.

and Yeah, I watched Fast and the Furious a while back, and while it doesn't quite still hold up - it was entertaining... at least Cohen had that going for him.
Adam said...
I just read a review for this that said, "makes me miss Uwe Boll." hahaha - sheesh.

But seriously, I can't believe I'm about to say this - but this film could have benefited from Stephen Somers' influence.
I've heard several reviewers say it was literally the worst movie they've ever seen. I was going to see it just for the Yettis, but now methinks I'll get somebody to go halfzies on a redbox purchase with me and we can fast forward through the silliness... Maybe have a few margaritas first... then watch the yettis.
Adam said...
I think after Dark Knight's insane success, look for the rest of the summer's films to get basically ripped apart. It's not like the two are that similar, but they were big budget box office flair - but it seems nothing can escape Dark Knight's powerful grasp.

I'm not so sure if Pineapple Express can beat out TDK next week - it will be close, then again maybe Express will knock it out of the park.

I think by the time Clone Wars comes out, TDK will still be at a solid third place that week, behind Pineapple Express and Clone Wars - even though it's an animated movie, it's still going to make Star Wars money - guaranteed.

Nick said...
Adam: I don't know. I enjoy Star Wars, but I think Clone Wars looks incredibly stupid (the animation looks like it came from a Playstation ONE video game). Also, I know some REALLY huge Star Wars geeks who are all but boycotting the film.

I think it's gonna be the biggest Star Wars bomb.
Paul said...
Yeah, but think ab how many kids are going to see that too.
Adam said...
I don't understand all the comments about how bad the animation looks - obviously that's the style they've chosen to go with. It isn't Pixar so people are freaking out - but it's also an issue of practicality and budget, because they're holding this level of animation throughout the entire cartoon series.

To me it just seems like a natural 3D progression of the 2D Clone Wars cartoon series - I think it looks pretty awesome, actually.

Revenge of the Sith's opening weekend was $108,435,841, playing in 3,661 theaters. You're looking at a more kid friendly film opening in close to 4,000 theaters - While I don't think it's going to break any records, or even beat Sith's weekend - I'd project it to make at least 80 million opening weekend.

And those really huge star wars geeks you know, Nick, would be foolish to boycott this film - it isn't even directed by George Lucas! It looks better than the sum of the prequels already
Paul said...
If it is anything like the cartoon, it will be definitely be better than the prequels.

As far as the animation style goes, when I first saw it I was a little disappointed, felt a little cheap maybe? The more I watched it the more I loved it, esp characters like Dooku and Greivous. If the story is any good I'm sure it'll be a worth addition to the franchise.

$80m? It's star wars, yes, but this movie is almost out and there's really not a lot of buzz around it. I think that prediction is a bit hefty, but I'm sure it'll do well.
Adam said...
Does it really need any buzz at all? Star Wars fans across the globe know it's coming out, and when you've got a diehard audience so large, you don't really have to go out of your way to sell it - it sells itself.

If only the dedicated star wars fans saw it opening weekend, I don't think it would have a problem making more than 60 million. But, the dark knight still looms - I don't know when it's going to dry up. You're talking about folks that dress up as stormtroopers - people who get married with han solo and leia caketoppers - folks that go to toys r us at midnight to catch figures as they come off of shipping trucks... I can't believe they won't show, haha - what else do they have to do?

Yeah, the reason it looks cheap is b/c it is cheap ha - it's got to be when you're making 100 episodes. I think it'll be the best looking animated show on TV tho, no doubt.
Paul said...
Well I DO think it needs some buzz. Anyone I've talked to who is not a die-hard fan just laughs at it like, "why would I go see that?"

Will it make $80mil in it's opening weekend?

(in pre-pubescent voice) IT WILL TRY!
Adam said...
It's wishful thinking - I don't think the pull is there as it was for the prequels. Episode I was the beginning of Star Wars again, and Episode III was the last true star wars movie, so both of those hauled in crazy cash - what constitutes a Star Wars bomb though? Each star wars film has made anywhere from $290 million to $460 million domestically - pretty high standards.

On all the fansites, like theforce.net, people are geared up for it -the anticipation is still there. There will be lines at midnight, etc for this movie - and while the overall hype isn't as big as Sith, I think all the fans will come out in droves with their families to see it.

It's also a great opportunity to introduce little kids to Star Wars with friendly, animated film that will keep their attention.

I'm overly optimistic about it - if the film could get just one positive review I'd feel vindicated in some way. I'd like to believe this is the beginning of Star Wars redeeming itself to those who hated the prequels, but I'm probably totally wrong.
Paul said...
Well my response to your statement ab redeeming the prequels would be, go watch the Clone Wars animated series. I'm pretty hopeful this movie will be done well and add some great depth to the story, but the series was excellent. The only thing I guess is that it might just make people upset (such as me) to see what the prequels COULD/SHOULD have been.

I'm looking forward to it, and will do my part by getting it 1/10,000,000 of the way closer to your estimate.
Adam said...
Well, of course the 2003 Animated Series was better than the prequels - but no one saw them. I mean, outside of the diehard star wars fan base and people I forced to watch it, no one bothered to recognize that series as a success - not to mention, being as this new animated series is wiping the continuity clean, I think it will fade into nonexistence, which is also a shame.

It's funny that this discussion was originally aimed at Nick, but he's absent so me and you are left here really talking about nothing, haha.

If Nick Serious? and if so... why so serious?
Paul said...
Hah, well you just made my point though, while this has slightly better promotion than the animated series, will people recognize it as a success, or see it as a kids movie?

Since Shea is absent from this conversation, let me chime in on his behalf...ahem:

"(stomps foot) Guuuuuuuys, why are you talking about Clone Wars when this is a review for the Muuuuummyyyyy?"
Paul said...
Just to get back on track for you Shea ;-) I'll throw in this comment...

Why did anyone bother to go see this?
Nick said...
My reason for seeing Mummy 3 was listed within my review... which is why I was doubly pissed off because my reasoning proved non-existent due to my stupid theater.

And it's not the first time I've gone to see a movie simply for a Harry Potter trailer, either. I went to the first Fantastic Four movie based on rumors of one (which proved to be false), and I also saw Happy Feet for an HP trailer, as well. I'm sure there are others, as well... but those are the ones that come to mind.
Paul said...
That makes sense Nick. I have a few red flags that go up that tell me not to watch a movie...one of them is Brendan Fraser.
Adam said...
I share Paul's red flag of Brendan Fraser. Strangely enough, my second red flag is Jet Li. I hate him - truth be told I hate lame martial arts movies starring him and/or Jackie Chan in general. "Tuxedo" - get out of my face. "Romeo Must Die," please not suck, then die, then get out of my face.

Adam said...
And talkin' about going to movies for trailers - the only reason I ever saw "Harry Poter and the Sorceror's Stone" is because of the amazing Star Wars Episode II trailer that played with it. After watching the trailer I got up and left saying, "5 bucks well spent."
Paul said...
Other notable (present-day) red flags:

Ben Affleck (acting)
Adam Sandler
Cuba Gooding Jr.
Jerry Bruckheimer
Ice Cube
Paul Walker
Scott Caan
Brett Ratner
(cont'd...)

Michael Bay used to head this list until Transformers...I mean where did that come from?!