Feast

I am going to break the norm in writing this review and just walk you through my experience.

 

Time Code: 2 minutes deep...

 

            Absolutely AMAZING! A really cool 8mm style sequence of a man scooping up road kill. I am very optimistic at this point. A very stylized and interesting beginning.

 

Time Code: 4 minutes deep...

 

            Now we are entering into some flash freeze frame introductions of all the characters in a bar. Nicknames, occupations, and life expectancies flash onto the screen with every character. My immediate impulse is to roll my eyes, vomit, or throw my shoe at the TV. I slowly accept it and it eventually grows on me. By the 6th character I have accepted it as part of the movie and begin to unexpectedly enjoy it.

 

Time Code: 15 minutes deep...

 

            I am digging this little movie. I notice the director has taken special care with the characters and their introductions. My favorite is when "Single Mom" is drinking whiskey at the bar. Unnoticed we see a little fire ant crawling around the bar. She takes the shot and slams down the glass unknowingly crushing the little ant. I love the small things like this. This was also done in Constantine with a spider. So at this point in the movie I am appreciating what is being done.

 

Time Code: 16 minutes deep...

 

            Enter MONSTER VISION!!!! Now I throw up in my mouth and throw my shoe at the TV. I don't care what Paul says about this technique... he's just defending Alien 3. I think this technique is a complete easy way out. There are hundreds of better ways to accomplish this... ask M. Night. The only film that is allowed to use it is Predator.

 

Time Code: 18 minutes deep...

 

            The character named "The Hero" has entered and is immediately eaten proving to the audience that it's a no holds barred movie and anything could happen. This isn't necessarily a good thing... just an observation.

 

Time Code: 30 minutes deep...

 

            The movie has slowly begun its decline. I find myself slowly losing interest.

 

Time Code: 1 hour deep...

 

            I have lost all interest. The creatures are lame. They are humping things like mounted deer heads and each other...OH! They are even humping into character's mouths. I have lost all friendship with the characters and I no longer care who wins or who dies. The dialog has gotten worse. There is no more story or mystery. Just obsessive blood shed, humping, and stupid decisions. I turn it off to go watch The Fall.

 

Time Code: 1 hour deep Part 2...

 

I argue with Andy on whether we are going to finish it. He says it's a complete waste of his time. I say we must push on through... we do.

 

Time Code: 1 hour 20 minutes deep...

 

I am praying for redemptive qualities. A character bashes the head in on one of the creatures and reaches into its mouth and pulls out it's lungs. Hey... that's cool.

 

Time Code: Movies end...

 

I am left confused... I guess I miss counted how many creatures there were. I am left feeling completely unsatisfied. Humping creatures that wear dead animals? Half the movie I was supposed to feel threatened by a road kill wearing cow skull?

 

Final Thoughts...

 

Potential beginning but gradually the movie slips into everything I hate about the genre. I will stick to Slither and Shaun of the Dead if we are trying to make it funny. Give me The Descent or The Thing if we are going serious.
Reviewed by: shea
10 Comment(s)
Andy said...
Yeah I agree. I was done with it around 45 minutes in. The monsters were disappointing. Having them hump everything was stupid and sometimes disgusting...in a stomach turning kind of way...not a cool way. I thought some of the freeze frame introductions were funny but most were lame. One of the lead girl heroes' acting was terrible. Monster vision sucked. I thought it would never end.
Nick said...
Aw, you guys suck -_- .

This movie is fucking awesome. But then again, you love 'The Descent' :P . I thought this movie was hilarious and very well done.

Also, in defense of the movie over the 'lead actress' acting' (because I know which one you were talking about)... this movie was done for Project Greenlight 3, so I watched the entire movie-making process... the director absolutely did NOT want that actress and thought she was doing a crappy job, even at the audition level. But the casting director was a total bitch who was like... best friends with the woman, so she casted her behind the director's back (which caused an extreme uproar). And then the actress was a total nightmare on the set, as well.
Shea said...
Ha... it was a hard review to write knowing how much you liked this movie. I don't tend to favor the comedy genre too much... mix it with my love for creature movies and eh...

I loved the beginning though.

It also perked my interest for watching the Project Greenlight seasons. We will see though. I am behind in LOST and still need to finish Twin Peaks.
There wasn't any Humping Monster Vision (HMV) was there?
Nick said...
I think the reason I loved the humping monster stuff is because there was a whole segment with the main special effects dude and how he literally made this monster penis, and they were all laughing and having a blast when they saw it. It was a really funny part of the episode.

If anything, Shea, you should watch season 3 of Project Greenlight (it's the only one I watched, and it's reported to be really the best season out of the 3).
Adam said...
haha... it's weird, and don't take any offense to this Shea-Shea - but this kinda sounds like a movie you would make in a way haha. At least Nick's description of special effects dudes laughing and playing with monster penises.

Good to hear monster vision is still keepin' it real - haha. I think "Critters" is allowed to have monster vision, as well as "Predator" ha.

Josh said...
Honestly, I loved this one. It was the perfect mix of violence and comedy and horror, and you never really knew what was going to happen next. And you can't really hate a movie that has a life expectancy for its characters. It's just pure B-grade awesomeness.
Nick said...
Exactly! See, Josh gets it :P

Not to mention almost the exact opposite would happen with the 'life expectancy' given at the beginning. And it didn't really follow any horror movie cliches, so it was, as Josh said, almost impossible to figure out what was gonna happen next. The movie was genius.
Shea said...
Genious? Wow... I knew exactly what was going to happen before it happened. All th cliches were there.

OH! Well there is that spare radio in the attic. Didnt I just make fun of this over at The Stangers?

The classic secret kill scenario... Ooops... I accidently killed someone but I am not going to tell routine...

MONSTER VISION!!!

The stupid granny out of the closet ending.

OK... I feel like I am forcing it now... plain and simple. I just didnt like it.
Nick said...
*spoiler warning*

I meant in terms of death, really. Both 'heroes' are killed off, the only young child dies early on, the black guy dies -second- (hehe), and the old man set up as a big badass dies of a heart attack during the climax. Not to mention the one dude is set up the entire movie to die via falling apart because of the monster vomit, and ends up getting his head smashed. Then the big monster death at the very end, the one you mentioned with the beating and the guts pulling out, was just plain awesome.