10000 BC tells a story that's been told 10000 times. A chosen "one" is the only "one" who will overcome a great and all mighty evil. No doubt he doubts he is "the one" and his secret fuel to success is a lost love that ultimately is the straw that breaks the evil's back. A mix of Apocalypto, 300, and
The story flows like a broken sidewalk. Cracked and jagged... pieces of dialogue bridging scenes and story arcs as randomly as the grass between the cracks. Bump after bump the characters force their way along leaving your knee bopping with the wrong kind of anticipation.
Some of the special effects were cool and that's the only reason this film earns its one star. The elephants looked great as did the saber toothed feline. There was one cool scene when the slaves first enter the jungle. Something rustles through the overgrowth reminding me of my The Lost World raptor excitement. But soon the creatures emerge only to be a flock of hungry ostrich type characters with annoying squawks and goofy chases.
Let's speak plainly here...we all knew it was going to suck and I went into it knowing it was going to suck. I guess I just needed a vacation from the real world...a little trip into the prehistoric...but I wasn't even granted that.