Hills Have Eyes
OK. So. Hmmm. Vile. A family on vacation gets wrong directions from a no good red neck who is in cohorts with the mutants who were created by the evil government who dropped bombs on their humble way of life. Luckily for our humble mutants they went into the mines where they were cooked in bad news radiation from our evil government and blame, kill, rape, and pillage all who enter their forbidden desert. Or should i say dessert.

The movie starts off with a fake looking CG fish swimming down a polluted creek bed while gas masked scientists from our evil government gather information on the radioactive environment. Needless to say they get killed rather gruesomely by pick axes and a mighty mighty mutant straight from the goonies. For the remainder of the review I shall call him Sloth. Start opening credits that rip-off Johnny Cash and Dawn of the Dead.
The gore was not what got me about this movie. It would have to be female mutilation and intense helpless scenes involving these helpless young ladies and of course their baby. I was crawling in my seat.

The rest of the movie wasn't anything too terribly original or unbearably gory. There was this one mutant though who was confined to a wheel chair who had some serious physical issues. I am pretty sure he will be visiting me in my dreams tonight. The entire movie I was waiting for the end credits save for one moment. Down to three members of the family and a missing baby the oldest and the strongest picks up a baseball bat, chains the dog, and heads into the hills. It is the same reason i like zombie movies. One man against the end of the world. No hope for survival but by god I am taking as many down with me. Amen.

Horrible movie. My soul is rotting in my shell. It does leave me with the desire to see the old one if only to see the differences and why they felt there needed to be a remake. So grab your bats boys and head to the hills...the chickens are restless.

I think one of teh mutants said "Baby Ruthy"...but I'm not sure.
Reviewed by: shea